I want you to know
one thing. 

You know how this is: 
if I look 
at the crystal moon, at the red branch 
of the slow autumn at my window, 
if I touch 
near the fire 
the impalpable ash 
or the wrinkled body of the log, 
everything carries me to you, 
as if everything that exists, 
aromas, light, metals, 
were little boats 
that sail 
toward those isles of yours that wait for me. 

Well, now, 
if little by little you stop loving me 
I shall stop loving you little by little. 

If suddenly 
you forget me 
do not look for me, 
for I shall already have forgotten you. 

If you think it long and mad, 
the wind of banners 
that passes through my life, 
and you decide 
to leave me at the shore 
of the heart where I have roots, 
remember 
that on that day, 
at that hour, 
I shall lift my arms 
and my roots will set off 
to seek another land. 

But 
if each day, 
each hour, 
you feel that you are destined for me 
with implacable sweetness, 
if each day a flower 
climbs up to your lips to seek me, 
ah my love, ah my own, 
in me all that fire is repeated, 
in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten, 
my love feeds on your love, beloved, 
and as long as you live it will be in your arms 
without leaving mine.

The guiding assumptions behind white identity theories are borrowed from the liberal student-centered tradition, which understands growth in terms of self-actualization. At “Autonomy,” the highest level of development in the Helms model, whites “no longer rely on people of color to define Whiteness for them or to validate for them their ‘nonracist’ status.” Whereas the white person at the fifth stage of development congratulates herself on being “more enlightened about racial matters than most White people,” the person at the sixth and final stage is “problem centered rather than self centered” and “proactive rather than reactive” about race issues. An ally is not a helper, Tatum emphasizes, but someone who, on her own account, “speak[s] up against systems of oppression” and “challenge[s] other whites to do the same.” The characteristics assigned to autonomous whites thus set them apart from the needy Tiffanies and complacent Dr. Lincolns — yet the problematic traits ushered out the front door are reintroduced at the back…

Although in principle the person at the highest stage of white development is self-actualizing and no longer concerns herself with how others see her, the entire white identity model is organized around individuals getting to feel good about being white in nonracist ways. The insistence that the person who reaches the highest stage of white development is indifferent to her status as an exceptional white person is disingenuous. A moral/political framework that is organized around white feelings of integrity and self-respect but denies that this is what the framework is “about” may appear to valorize the political and social realm. Nevertheless, functionally, the most important value is being and feeling like a good white person; political action takes second place to personal integrity. Since feeling good about yourself looks a little self-centered compared to fighting for social justice, the dual categorization of value — and thus the dissonance between them — is suppressed. The person at the highest stages of white racial development reaps the benefits of feeling good about her whiteness but must remain ignorant of the raison d’être of the theory that defines her as fully self-actualized, for otherwise she would count as self-centered rather than problem-centered and be relegated to stage five. Self-deception and sentimentality thus are built into the ideal itself.

…………

This was a tough read but helps to give me some concepts and language around the tensions and dissonance I have been experiencing lately. Further reinforces for me that you have to come to the table with humility, resilience, and dedication to lifelong learning, critical thought, and sense of self. The author suggests that new environments and approaches to cross-cultural engagement and anti-racist identity development are needed, that—as I interpreted—equip white people with the frameworks and tools to navigate the active deconstruction of barriers (personal, social, institutional) to a socially just world differently.

• EMPATHY
• FUTURISTIC
• RESTORATIVE
• INPUT
• INTELLECTION